This post probably contains affiliate links, to items I am in love with, and I am confident you will too! For any health advice I give on nutrition and wieghtloss, make sure you check with your doctor, as I am not a health professional. I am just a mama with lots of health and fitness knowledge and experience.
There’s a Purpose for Your Pain continues with another post on miscarriage by Angela Audiss over at Anchoring Angela. Angela is my hero the way she outlines scripture and walks us through finding joy after terrible pain. Angela is a mommy on a mission to bring love and joy to everyone under the sun. What a beautiful mission! She is also mommy to baby boy, Oliver James (one of my favorite names!), lover of coffee with way too much creamer, blogging, books, playing music, family, and Jesus. She originally published her story here, and has given me permission to share it with you all! Don’t forget to connect with her on Facebook and Pinterest.
Dealing With Miscarriage
Miscarriage is a physical, emotional, and spiritual battle. There are things that I never understood before I had my first miscarriage. 17 days ago, I had my third miscarriage in two and a half years of marriage and I’m broken but my heart is healing. Today I’m going to talk about how I’m taking care of myself emotionally and spiritually and how you can too, if you’re experiencing a loss.
“There is a unique pain that comes from preparing a place in your heart for a child that never comes.” -Davis Platt
If I’m being totally honest, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to write this. I didn’t know if I was ready to be transparent with everyone on the internet, but I felt compelled to. I wanted this post to be perfect so I wrote and rewrote this four times. I eventually came to the conclusion that this will never be perfect, but I can openly share my honest feelings and struggles with you.
This loss was the hardest I’ve experienced. Physically, I bled much longer with this miscarriage and had intense cramping. Emotionally and Spiritually I was a mess, and that’s okay. This time was harder because my husband was out of town and I was taking care of my 8 month old son, all while losing a child.
From the moment I got the two pink lines, I loved this baby. That is something that some people don’t understand because they have never cherished a life they haven’t yet met. But for me, this baby had a soul and I felt like my body failed again. I wanted to hold this baby, watch it grow up.
“God, I would have loved to held my baby on my lap and and tell them about you, but since I didn’t get that chance, would you please hold him on yours and tell him about me?” -Unknown
I couldn’t understand why God would give me these lives to carry and take them away so quickly. I will never know the answer to this question. But, I am certain that God’s knowledge is far more vast than my finite mind can comprehend, and this is part of His complex plan.
Even when I don’t understand, God is good. When I go through trials, God is good.
The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. -Psalm 34:18
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. -Psalm 147:3
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. -Matthew 5:4
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. -Romans 8:28
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. -Psalm 46:1
“Grief only exists where love lived first.” -Franchesea Cox
After experiencing my third miscarriage I have 3 points for anyone dealing with loss.
-The first is surround yourself with like minded people.- Its important that you be with people who value the life you lost. Be with people who will let you sit and cry without saying anything. Be with people who will pray for you and let these people bring moments of joy into your life. I know you’re hurting and confused but let them crack a joke. It willmake you feel better, even if it’s for just a second. It will take time for you to feel like yourself again, but laughter reallyis the best medicine.
-Do not overshare until you’re ready.- You will be overwhelmed, trust me. There will be people who will want to shower you with “kind words” and “Encouragement”. If you are not ready for people saying stupid things to you, then don’t tell anyone outside your trusted circle. You will hear things like, “Well, at least it was early”, “Well, at least you still have one healthy child”, and “It’s for the best that this happened, there was probably something wrong with it.” People will intend for these phrases to bring you comfort, but they wont. They will make you angry or sad. So please, make sure you’re mentally ready to deal with those type of comments before you let anyone know.
-Lastly, don’t be afraid of finding joy in life again.- I had to realize that it was okay for me to feel happy again. I felt that as soon as I found joy again, the life I carried with-in me would be lost and forgotten forever. But I have since found that I needed to have joy to truly appreciate the gift I received. I will have children waiting for me in heaven. Children that have known no sin, mourning, or pain. They are spotless. The first thing they saw when they opened their eyes was the face of Jesus, and that I can find joy in.
I have a very specialized program for postpartum mamas looking to heal, nourish and regain their strength. I really struggled healing after my first child, and even went through pelvic floor physical therapy for weeks to manage scar tissue that developed from tearing. I have experience studying nutrition, physical therapy and I taught Pilates, so I’ve put together a program I wish I would’ve followed from the beginning.
A program that first heals your body through specialized movements and nourishing foods. Foods are so essential to your body finding the nutrients it needs to put itself back together again. Your postpartum body needs special care in the first 4-6 weeks where you focus on regaining strength and properly fueling your body for breastfeeding.
Here is what one mama emailed me on the program:
“I absolutely love the program! Just got finished with workout 4 and I’m dying I can only do these 2x thru and my second round is pretty funny to see I’m sure! I will work up to 3x:-) By the way, your little boy angel in the videos is too precious and makes me smile! My boys have been doing these with me as well🏼!
Here is what another mama posted in the Facebook Group:
“Feeling GREAT on this program!!! It’s unbelievable how eating clean makes such a difference. Let me rephrase that…it’s amazing the difference eating nutrient dense foods makes! My skin is glowing and I’m already shedding pounds! I also tried the first workout today and did well although I had to modify a bit and omit the backwards burpee (I had cesarean just over a month ago and don’t quite feel ready for that exercise just yet but I will get there). Loving this plan! Thank you SO MUCH for tour help! Currently eating pictures lunch while writing this ☺”
This program then moves you into gaining physical fitness back. I will never forget the first time I tried to go for a run around 12 weeks postpartum after my first baby. I didn’t do any strength work, so I was literally jelly. I had lost all my extra fat and my previous muscle. So depressing. I was barely able to start gaining it back before I got pregnant and sick again with my second. I’ve learned so much on maintaining muscle postpartum through a unique diet and Pilates routines. I walk you through all of this too!
Lastly, I take you into a workout program to combine with a meal plan to help you lose the baby weight, not your milk!! !
I created this program to be affordable and realistic for new mams!