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Silence. Finally. I tip-toe around hot wheels, bits of plastic and various articles of clothing. It appears that everyone strips down and loses an article of clothing in every room. I look at the dishes stacked in the sink, sheet pan full of burnt food bits from a many uses, and so many crumbs from the toast we had at dinner. I’m never doing toast again. Way too many crumbs.

I had a list of things to accomplish now that it’s 9pm and no one is awake to bother me. It will last about an hour before the baby stirs and looks for me to put him back to sleep. I can’t find my list, so I just sit down and stare.

I’m staring off into space because my brain is fried from the constant discipline and monitoring. I have a extremely smart, defiant child that pushes the envelope.

I’m zoning out because I’ve played cars, answered a gazillion questions and literally used all my brain power to think of ways to keep my children busy.

There are so many dishes to clean, and the kitchen stinks because I made three grilled cheeses that weren’t soft enough, one peanut butter and jelly with too much jelly and scrambled eggs that no one touched. I made like 100 meals and only two were picked at.

I can’t seem to bring myself to think about anything adult-like because I was up late the night before doing the ultimate research on home-school curriculum for Kindergarten and chapter books for toddlers.

I can’t seem to pull myself together, or reel my brain back to check anything off my to-do list (that’s hiding somewhere) because I’ve literally used all the mental energy I have on my children and family. I’ve ended my day in complete mental fog, where all I want to do is scroll Facebook and Instagram for hours.

If your day ends with messes and a completely zombie-like brain situation, you did everything right. You used all your mental and physical energy to raise your children. If you are a working mom you also used that energy to financially help your family.

If you end your day with no sense of any ability to mentally function, that’s our job. Our job is to use every ounce of our gifts to cultivate, raise, love and nurture our children. It’s okay that everything else was forgotten because we can always catch up tomorrow.

It’s not a perfect way to end the day, but it’s okay. It’s a season of motherhood where all of our abilities are used and challenged. There will be another season when our kitchens are cleaned and our children are eating elaborate holiday meals.

Remember in this season, if your day ends with your mind totally spent, you did everything right.

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