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It’s a special place to be the middle child, and there are some important ways you can give your middle child some special attention.
First, Read Them Special Books
Just as you maybe did with your oldest having a new sibling, your middle child can really benefit from being some books in being in the middle. Here are some great starters:
My Middle Child, There’s No One Like You
You’re All My Favorites
The Middle Child Blues
Little House on the Prairie
Second, Give Them A Special Toy
I remember getting a small toy when my younger sister was born. I’m actually the oldest, but the idea is great for the middle child. I gave each of my boys a special gift from our third baby in the hospital, so they could feel special. Some great ideas for this type of toy is a toy they can care for like a stuffed animal. I still have the stuffed zebra I got. Then, your middle child can copy you caring for the new baby by caring for their new toy. It allows them to stay connected with you as your attention turns to the new little bundle.
GUND Slumbers Teddy Bear
Jocelyn The Giraffe
Douglas Spunky Hedgehog
GUND Nayla Cockapoo Dog
Third, Dedicate One-On-One Time Activities
This can be any activity you know your middle child loves. My middle child has been really enjoying reading superhero books, playing superheroes and I Spy. The I Spy books are super fun with a new baby because I can nurse the baby while playing I Spy with my middle child. This way he still feels important and connected to me while I am feeding the baby.
Fourth, Encourage Them To Do Big Things
I started potty training my second child soon after the third baby was born. This empowered him to be a big boy like his big brother. He learned pretty quick, and I taught him younger than my oldest because I was tired of diapers really. But, he gained a lot of self-confidence realizing how big he was! Think of something like riding a bike, learning letters or numbers, putting shoes on…anything that gives them the feeling that they are accomplishing something great and growing big!
Fifth, Give Them A Chance To Be The Oldest
My middle child’s main playmate is his older brother. I didn’t want him to always be the underdog. Boys are competitive. I put my oldest in a Pre-K class, but I didn’t put my middle child in one. I wanted him to be home, and to have an opportunity to be the oldest. I want him to have the freedom to play without his older brother, and the opportunity to play with his little brother. You can do this by having your oldest child play separately from the smaller ones for a part of the day. It brings some relief to the middle child, and it allows the older child to flourish without the annoying little siblings
Lastly, it’s important to educate yourself on what it means to be the middle child if you weren’t a middle child. I was the oldest, so I have no clue what it’s like to grow up with an older sibling. I found a lot of good information in this book on birth order for my own self-understanding, as well as understanding my children and what they need!
The Birth Order Book: Why You Are The Way You Are
4 Comments
What beautiful sentiments and your growing family is just as beautiful. My prayer is that your entire family continues to feel this love for one another and that you stay just as happy as you appear in these gorgeous pictures!
Thank you so much Jennifer! I appreciate your prayers and thoughts!
This was great to read! I have 2 boys and a girl and my middle one is 7 years old and I think you are right in saying let him be the bigger brother. My husband often takes my oldest son with him on Saturday mornings and while he is teaching my oldest son things he wishes to learn, it does give my youngest son the chance to be my help. I really strongly on my oldest son when he is in the house. But it is nice to see my 7 year old helping too and reminds me that he is not as “little” as I think. He is very capable of playing with her (and that is my help) while I’m washing a few dishes or cleaning. I try to tell him what a big help it was for him to entertain -he has fun entertaining, and I’m able to accomplish a few chores I need to do on Saturday. And it is super important for all of them to have a time slot as theirs that is your undivided attention. The baby needs me all the time, but in the mornings when I wake my oldest son up for school, we are the only 2 in the house that are up, so we catch up before he catches the school bus, and with my little son the evenings when we do homework, after it is done, we read a book, and this is when he catches up with me on all the events of his day. And we actually all talk around the supper table when daddy comes home from work. Its a lot of work at times, but so worth it to make them feel special and understand that they are each important and their thoughts matter and they are loved. –And speaking as a younger sibling myself, I also know they will all grow up thinking the other is mama’s favorite. 🙂 Its ok, they are ALL my favorite in their own Special Ways. They all bring different things into my life that God knew I needed. Its pretty amazing when you think about it! 🙂 THANK YOU for sharing your post! What a cute little guy you have!
I love all of this! Sorry it took me a bit to respond!! I am so glad this post resonated with you because I really work hard to pay attention to each child and make them feel special, but it is hard! I need to start relying on my oldest more for house work because I need it!! I love your point of view that God brought them each for a reason!!! That is a special word, and I appreciate you leaving such a nice and uplifting comment! Blessings!