Ashling Drew, Author at Joyful Messes

Perfectionism is a B, But I’ll Tell You Why You’re Perfect

Perfectionism. A sneaky little B- that looks oh so appealing and attractive, yet causes so much destruction. Its tricky. Perfectionism can enter your mind in the form of images you create, or saw and pursue. The pursuit, the dream the taste of having the perfect body the perfect nursery decor, the spotless home…I’m sure you’ve jumped in the perfectionism limo at least once. I know I have. But, we forget it’s unattainable. We fixate on the perfect picture in our mind, then hit the ground hard when, after trying and trying, we can’t get there. Something un-perfect, or messy gets in the way. Did you know that perfectionism is a form of distraction from our insecurities or pain? Yep, it means you’re semi-screwed up. No, not really, but it stems from pieces of your soul you haven’t yet been able to heal. How do I know? I’ve spent over a year…

Raising Boys to be Brothers and Learning What Brotherly Love Is

We all know the book, Where The Wild Things Are. The imaginary, monster/adventure world describes the mind of a boy almost perfectly. They are adventure-seeking, monster-loving, little kings. They want to fight, take charge and beat things up. Boys are competitive little animals, and it’s not necessarily natural for them to be loving and kind to their brother(s). Brotherly love is a unique concept, but I’ve learned some things that help me understand and cultivate a loving relationship between my two boys. Tackling Is Love: Think of tackling, shoving or karate chopping like hugs and kisses for brothers. At first, it looks like it could be a knock out session, but there’s no anger. There is pure love and play. They absolutely love wrestling each other. Because they are still little, they haven’t learned appropriate boundaries to avoid someone (the little one) getting hurt. He usually cries for a second,…

Becoming a Mom of 3, Life with Two Toddlers and a Baby Guest Post!

On October 21st at 1:10pm, I joined the mom-of-three club. Since that day, I’ve graduated from hospital undies. I started putting yoga pants on, rather than pajama pants. I haven’t quite excelled into my new role as mom-of-three yet. Transitioning into life at home with two toddlers and a baby is a process I’m going through, with no real “I’ve got this down!” moments. (Hopefully soon?!) The older boys are loving this new phase in life. They are running around naked and crazy half the time. It’s difficult to dress them with one hand while nursing the baby in the other. As soon as I sit down to nurse, food starts soaring back and forth, laundry baskets get dumped, pillows go flying, and they literally have the time of their lives. Yeah, I’m navigating through the war zone in survival mode, driven by instinct…. Read More over at Tacoma Working…

My Postpartum Fitness Routine

I’m finally getting this post up! Things with two toddlers and a newborn are more than busy. Its a straight-up balancing act. I’m chasing a naked two-year-old around with the newborn in one arm, a stuffed red dog under my other arm, a sippy cup in one hand and a diaper in the other. Total chaos. At other times, I’m sitting on the couch staring off, while ALL THREE BOYS ARE SLEEPING. I’m afraid to move. I know it won’t last…or will it? What should I do? What do I need to do? I had a list of things somewhere didn’t I???! My mother-in-law also just arrived, who is absolutely fabulous. She is the sweetest version of Paula Dean, cooking and all. This leaves very little time for any sort of post-partum fitness. The key is to choose very wisely what you do in the very few moments you have.…

5 Ways I’m a “Bad Mom” Everyday

I start my mornings with a Starbucks and a Spinach Feta Wrap about 7 am. Then, I do an hour of Pilates and cardio, followed by thirty minutes of Booty Barre. Feeling super toned and ballerina-like, I pop my favorite champagne and slide into an essential-oil-infused bubble bath. This is where I do my best writing and catch up on all my social media feeds. Don’t worry, I have the children sitting with a box of Cheezits each in front of their favorite YouTube shows. The Playlist lasts 5 hours – Perfect. I also just left the jug of apple juice in front of them in case they get thirsty. The 5 Best Foods To Lose The Baby Weight and Pump Up Your Milk Supply Increase Your Milk Supply Overnight 3 Tricks I Use To Lose The Baby Weight That Worked Three Times Now Back to my day: My tub…

5 Ways to Be A Happier Mom in 5 Minutes

Getting your happy back is something that’s probably crossed your mind at some point in your motherhood journey. Where did it go? Somewhere along the road of motherhood our pure joy and enthusiasm dwindles to utter surrender as we slave away for our babies, toddlers and kids. Many of us find ourselves in spurts of complete irritation with our children. Even me, a happy, easy-going person has had weeks of complete frustration and irritation with the lack of freedom, constant wining, never-ending interuptions and sleepless nights. Well, I’ve found a way to become a happier, more grateful mommy in 5 minutes by doing these very simple things. First, I Look at Old Videos and Pictures This is so helpful!! I am reminded of how innocent and cute my now trying and rebellious 5-year-old is. I look back at the beautiful memories and footage of our family, first words and milestones,…

Baby’s Birth Story and His Name

First off, if you’re reading to find out the baby’s name, I give you permission to skip to the end of the post. The rest that follows is how he raced into the world painfully and just in time for my doctor to deliver 🙂 I rolled my big belly over to the clock: 3:32 am. My eyes were wide open, and I was patiently waiting to feel anything. Any twinge that might indicate baby is coming. Nothing. I was three days post due date. It was early on a Friday morning. I decided to pray. My obgyn, who’s delivered all my babies, my sister’s babies, and his dad delivered my sisters and I, was heading out of town later that day. He NEVER goes out of town. I wanted him to be there, but I didn’t want to induce the baby. So, I prayed for God to send the…

5 Postpartum Lessons I Learned The Hard Way

You’d think I’d be an expert at living life postpartum, now that its the third time around. Newsflash to motherhood: each child does not give you another notch of expertise. Darn. Would be nice though. Third time or first time, postpartum life, particularly in the first week is still just as messy and surprising. Postpartum life is messy, icky, uncomfortable and all-round surprising at times. I’m hoping in sharing these lessons I’ve learned that you can avoid them, or feel better if you go through them! Lesson 1: How To Not Wet Yourself In The Middle of The Night Sadly, I’ve experienced some middle-of-the-night accidents postpartum. Take the other night for example. I’m up, nursing the baby. Its about 3am in the morning. I currently sleep with the boys now – them in one bed, the baby and I in the other, so Daddy gets his sleep for work. Most…

I Didn’t Put My Boys In Preschool

Benjamin and Jack love to sit at their little kid table and “do their homework” aka scribble, color and maybe attempt writing their names in between sneaking warrior stripes on each other’s faces. They see their older half-brother working on his homework when he’s with us, and of course, they think they have homework too. I didn’t put either of them in preschool this year, even though I very well could of. There’s a preschool out there for every budget and learning style, but my heart isn’t on board with preschool yet for my boys. I have this old-school vision, or maybe fantasy, where I want them to just be wild and free as long as possible. I want to keep the adventures rolling and avoud the schedule. I realize there are some downsides to not being a part of the class and establishing friendships and learning structure, but something…

How Do I Teach My Kids Patience, When I’m out?

40 weeks pregnant PLUS 2 DAYS! Seriously, aren’t third babies supposed to come early?? I’m walking a tight line towards being induced at this point because my patience is shot. Then, this morning, adding to my feelings of completely being done, both the boys were in some sort of mood and didn’t want to play with the kids at the YMCA. Then it got worse, I went in to play with them for a bit, and help encourage them to find some fun toys and kids, and they were grumpy and totally not into it. Then, out of no where, a crying little boy glued himself to me and I couldn’t put him down. He wanted me to walk around and hold him. “Um, I don’t work here. I just want get on the elliptical and try to get this over-sized baby out, and now I can’t put this poor…

Ashling Drew