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Wondering how to be a more present mom? Here are ways that I’m putting my focus on doing that, each and every day.
If I were living in a dream world where every mom was a literal supermom and I could whisk away my children’s tears and hardships, get chores done in a flash of light, and meet everyone’s demands with a smile on my face – that would be amazing. The reality is a bit different though isn’t it?
I may dream of becoming that parent, but exactly how can I honestly and realistically go about accomplishing it? How can I be a more present mom and fulfill my children’s deepest longings for my listening ear, and my constant attention given to them every moment of every day?
Well, if I’m honest with myself, that dream may never be all I hope it to be, but I am certainly determined to give it my all, and provide my kids with the closest glimpse of a supermom they are ever going to see!
How To Be A More Present Mom
With these simple tips, you can easily start to become more present in the lives of your children.
Don’t Be Overbusy
Starting with my own personal issues with being overly busy all the time, trying to do too many tasks at once (yes, I’m guilty of multi-tasking), I will begin with the obvious … when my child comes up to me and wants my attention, I need to stop what I’m doing temporarily and shut my computer and give them my full attention. I know if it were me in their shoes, I would become very frustrated too if I was trying to share an exciting story about my day, or give them instructions for a task I want them to do and then recognized that they weren’t really listening to me whole-heartedly. My kids are my whole world!
Why would I not want to relay to them that they mean everything to me and show them their real value in my eyes? I need to try harder to be that kind of mom. Yes, I do my best at the moment, but has life started getting in the way of really keeping them my priority each day and every hour? Yes, it has at times, and that is NOT ok.
Learning to Balance
I’ve often heard the phrase, “Balance is key.” Realizing this in my own life, I ultimately need to be my children’s example of living a more balanced life by having good use of time management and a nice work/home balance. My kids need to see me showing them that cell phones and tablets and computers are not more important than real people in the flesh standing in front of me desiring my time and attention.
I truly need to show them through my own actions every day that things like devices, tech, or screens are not that important! Habits we start now with our own work life and home life will be a mirror reflection in our children as they grow into young adults.
Be a Living Example
How would I like my children to act, speak, or respond to others? Should they do it by putting their phones down and looking the individual in the eyes and speaking to them, and listening to them with respect? Of course! That means I need to be modeling that for them as a living example in all I say and do whether I’m speaking to a 2-year-old child or a 60-year-old executive.
Age, gender, status .. those things don’t matter when it comes to showing respect to others. Everyone should be treated equally, and the only way my child is going to learn this important trait in their character is by my living example for them to observe daily. I am a big fan of using manners to the highest degree. My kids hear me say, “Yes, Ma’am and No Sir” all the time to anyone I speak with.
Consequently, they are being observed using the same form of manners when speaking to adults or other children, and that’s a good thing!
Stay Focused and In the Moment
I often have to remind myself not to forget the little things when it comes to being present for my kids. Things like getting down on their eye level when they are speaking with me can mean the world to my little ones. Holding them on my lap or sitting close beside them with my arm around them to show them I care about them and what they have to say is showing my dedication to being present and in the moment.
But, no matter how hard I try, there are times when my mind may wander and worry about what I have to do next, or something that happened yesterday that I still need to resolve. These grown-up problems can wait! I need to be present for my kids and my mind should not be wandering about stresses that don’t have to do with them at this time. How do I combat this mental wandering? What can I do?
I need to clear my mind and learn to let go of my wandering thoughts until a time when my kids are not in need of me at the moment. There are things I can do such as download an app on mental focus and practice with it, or use a notepad to write down the things I want to address that are my biggest stressors and then save them for dealing with at the end of the day after my kids are in bed.
Give My Kids ALL of Me
Giving my kids 100 percent of me is something I’ve always aimed to do since I first found out I was pregnant. There are going to be days when my little ones climb up on my lap and desire to snuggle, or play their favorite game, or want me to tickle them and make them laugh. They are searching for the attention they crave and more often than not, I am the one they come to – not their dad.
They love getting mom to listen to them tell their jokes and I love to pretend I have never heard that old joke before. It’s about giving them comfort, encouragement, attention, love, respect, and offering them a glowing appreciation for being the unique and wonderful child that they are. They don’t need to hear my criticisms or my corrections 24/7. They need to hear my approval and words of praise. My kids need to feel more of my hugs, pats on the backs, and opportunities to slap five for a job well done. This is being a real and present mom in their lives. Knowing what makes my kids tick is what means the world to me.
I want to hear about their day and share their tears of joy as they come along. I love to listen to them sing and clap when they are finished. They need to know that there is no one else in this whole, wide world who wants to be their cheerleader more than mom.
This is my version of being totally present as a mom and for my special crew, I hope my focus to be that for them never changes.